SPLAT

"A man climbed a mountain high in the Himalayas to speak to the Wise Man who lived there. The man had one question: Which way leads to success? The Wise Man pointed; the man started walking. After a while, he walked straight into a wall. SPLAT. He turned around, climbed back up the mountain, and asked the Wise Man, 'I went that way and walked into a wall. Now which way lies success?' The Wise Man pointed in another direction and the man started walking. SPLAT. By this time, the man was getting really ticked off. He stomped back up the mountain and yelled at the Wise Man: 'Every time I walk where you're pointing, I walk straight into a wall. Now you tell me how to find success!'

This time, the Wise Man spoke.

'Success is that way. Just past SPLAT."

Time for a 26th Year Check-in. I was reading "The Quarter Life Chronicle" this morning by a blogger whom I've never met, but who shares my fascination for this particularly brutal time of life, and it inspired me to review my own Chronicles of my Quarter Life Crisis.

I have not been reading Pico Iyer.

After re-reading my post about my 26th year goals, that one is the failure that sticks out and galls me most. It's not for lack of trying. I did actively look for Pico Iyer books in Seattle, and found the sequel to Robyn Davidson's "Tracks" instead (she took off with a band of camels across the Australian outback - great book). But, while I have not yet joined the ranks of the literary elite, I did stumble across another age-defining book: Someday My Prince Will Come, by Jerramy Fine.

Jerramy is a girl just as delusional as I am, but the difference is that she hauled ass to try to make her fairytale story come true. For the first hundred pages, I was thinking both "This girl is nuts" and "we are so much alike, but I'd never have the nerve to write it in print." It's one thing to firmly believe you are meant to be a princess; it's another to make that your defining life goal, leave your hippy-dippy parents in a mountain town, travel to England, wrangle your way into high society, and meet the prince you were looking for.

Hey - I tried. I just didn't try nearly has hard as she did. And that's the most amazing thing: this is an Autobiographical book of a girl only a few years older than myself. Yes, she is obsessive. Yes, she comes off as crazy (only because she actually says what we other crazies never utter in public). But she went after her dream single-mindedly, hitting walls and going SPLAT at every turn, and never stopping. It's an incredibly inspirational read, even if I've replaced "Princess" with "Journalist" as my life's goal.

Jerramy Fine, I like you better than Pico freakin' Iyer. The literary elite be damned.

Now, as for my 26th Year Goals Progress Report:

1. Increase Income. (When you wish upon a blog - it just might come true. I have seen my monthly income increase little by little, but it is still far from a living wage. Work In Progress).

2. Lose 10 more pounds. (Nope).

3. Learn photography so my Nikon D5000 is second-nature. (I just spent a weekend taking professional animal photos at an obediance trial, during which I got to know my camera a lot better. Still, work in progress.)

4. Travel to Germany and the American South. (I've eaten lots of sausage and chicken n' waffles, does that count?)

5. Create and maintain All Who Wander. (Work in Progress. We have our mission statement, and I think the second half of this year will see a lot more activity).

Adding:

6. Become an SEO expert and learn Multimedia reporting (video editing, audio editing, internety technical stuff).

That last one is the result of a disasterous job application to become a Patch Local Editor. [SPLAT] I don't even want to get into it - too soon, too irritating. You would think that TWO recommendations from current Local Editors in addition to my very nice resume and cover letter might make an impact - but not if the recruiter doesn't bother to read anything you sent before making up her mind not to hire you before she even picks up the phone to call you for your interview. [SPLAT SPLAT].

On the bright side, it has spurred me into taking a Multimedia Reporting class that I have been meaning to take for a while, which should perfect my resume so completely that even a recruiter who doesn't read it, cannot fail to be impressed.

I know that last sentence does not make sense. Just go with me on this one.

SPLAT.