Busy as Bees

I dreamed about bees last night. An entire room full of them. A giant hive of swarming black and yellow buzzing beasts. I've got a slight phobia about bees, well earned I think, since I was in England one summer and found one trapped in my UCLA sweatshirt - while I was wearing it. Ever since then, I hyperventilate if a bee buzzes by.

Dreams about bees:

"To see bees in your dream symbolize wealth, good luck, harmony, creativity and bliss. Bees are also symbolic of hard work and industry as represented by the common phrase "busy as a bee." Your hard work will pay off in the end with sweet results. Alternatively, the dream represents the things that are happening in your life or something that is buzzing with activity. Is there a lot going on in your life?  

If bees symbolize hard work and industry, that makes a lot of sense for me right now. I'm working so hard that my new husband comes home at 6:15 to find me still sitting at my desk, typing away. One quick kiss hello, I say "I just need 20 more minutes," and an hour later I finally emerge to fix dinner. It's a good night when I can stop work when he comes in the door, have a glass of wine and watch TV until bedtime.

A few factors have come together to make my life busy. I'm clinging onto my dream job of managing 20 bloggers for a women's adventure travel website by the skin of my teeth, though that job had expanded into other areas that I had to cut back for my own sanity. So, I should say I'm back to just managing 20 bloggers and minding the website, but there's still a bit of the other areas that creep in frequently. Manageable now. On top of that, the writing business is booming so much that I reached the limit of projects I could take on. So, I took on two partners.

Then we three took on enough work for three people. And then one partner got the opportunity of a lifetime to travel across the country and be featured in her own documentary. And then the other partner went to China, then Spain, and has a full-time job that pays her way better than writing - leaving one little Indian to hold down the camp. Me.

Well, I've been thinking I have to figure out how to make a real business out of this writing thing for a while, and now with three times more work than I can do, I am forced to do it - now. As in, hire people to take on the smaller projects so the ones that need all of my energy and expertise can get it. So, here I am, juggling big projects while trying to figure out a system for parceling out the smaller projects to people who work for me. My ... worker bees, if you will.

It's not easy. Figuring out how much to pay people for their work while still making money myself (because I still do editing, quality control, posting, and sourcing photos). Being terrible at math has finally caught up with me. Should I divide it based on percentages, flat rates, hourly? How do I not shortchange anyone, including myself?

It's like BOOM - You are Now an Adult. You're not just playing at being a freelance writing small business owner anymore, you actually are one. You have people working for you. Which would be great if I had the slightest idea of how to do this. Which I don't.

I really hope my dream about those terrifying bees "pays off in sweet results." I hope it's a good omen. I need it.

Quarter Life Travels - We're all trying to figure out where we're going

Sometimes it takes getting on the road to find out where you're going. I'm loving this new 20-something travel blogger, Alana, because she's exploring the same ideas I work on here but in the context of living in Thailand. For her, solving the great mystery of "What do I do if I can do anything?" is helped along by moving into an entirely different cultural context. She's insightful, smart, adventurous, and is in the same privileged pickle as the rest of us.

Like me, she was told from an early age that she can do ANYTHING. And like me, that led to more confusion than inspiration. What were we supposed to do with that? What happens when you are smart, talented, and don't have too many responsibilities limiting your life choices? How lucky are we.

The flip side, of course, is feeling pressure to do something with all the advantages we've been given. And that pressure is enormous and daunting. After a lifetime of being told how special we are by people who truly, and enthusiastically, believe in us - we can't be average. We can't. Average is failure, and failure to this little sub-set of Generation Y is mundus inversus (the world upside-down).

It's an interesting question, what happens to a child praised for its entire life when it reaches adulthood.

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In other news - My 2012 Horoscope has been crazy-accurate. It's been a non-stop marathon since January. No rest for the wicked, to such an extent that I've had to turn down jobs. I'm not making money hand over fist quite yet since the wedding is taking up gobs of time, but I've definitely been able to do more shopping than I have in years. And my dream job - still my dream job. Love it. Managing a women's adventure travel website is almost as cool as it sounds (and it sounds really cool, doesn't it?).

2012 Here we Come

Happy New Year!

Time for those awful New Year's Resolutions. I really wish I had something profound, but I don't. First, a little 2012 Virgo Horoscope

This year is all about non-stop action for you, Virgo. With Mars spending the entire first half of 2012 in your sign, you may start to wonder if there will be any break in sight before 2013. The first quarter of the year will be under Mars's retrograde influence, a transit that could push you into a semi-neurotic workaholic mode. Be sure to give yourself plenty of physical outlets in order to channel all that excess Mars energy. 

 Boy, they got that right, those smarty stars. I'm starting a new job in a week that I am stoked about. I don't think I have ever been this unreservedly stoked about a job in my life. Floating on Cloud 9 here! And, because of that enthusiasm, I'm going to be a total neurotic workaholic mess for the next few months. I'm going to need a lot of exercise too.

I'm feeling ready for it. I've had a few days of almost-vacation (if drafting a book while waiting for tardy friends to show up to lunch counts as vacay?) and I feel pretty refreshed for the new year. That's good, because it will be a doozy - in a good way.

My financial sector is set to go gangbusters, according to the stars and the fact I've already landed this awesome job. So the financial slump I've been in since 2009 (which is when I quit my full time job with City government) is finally going to change for the better. Yay! Shopping!

June's full Moon lunar eclipse in your domestic sector is the beginning of many profound changes to affect both home and career prospects between late 2012 and early 2013.

June is the WEDDING. Holy Carp, I'm getting married. June 10th, 2012. That's a profound change alright.
Which leads me to my totally lame resolutions:

1. Lose 20 pounds, with a goal weight of 140, for THE WEDDING.
2. Work out, esp upper body, for the next six months to look great in my strapless WEDDING dress.
3. Organize my time better so I can keep up with the wedding blog, new job, podcasts, and other writing clients. I'm pretty organized now, but there is no room for error!
4. Pay off my credit cards completely before the wedding.
5. Become even more of a master in SEO, Social Media, and learn how to create a decent website. I'd like to get more into that. Not so much the scripting stuff as making a website that functions immediately and in line with SEO guidelines. So many small businesses that I love need websites and I'd love to be able to do that for them.

Ok, that's it. Diet starts tomorrow, and I'm swearing off wine and beer for the month of January. Martinis are ok, only because I can't bring myself to drink that much gin at a time.

Cheers!

And dude, if any 20-something creative type stumbles across this blog, which I keep purely for my own reflections, I just gotta say, you can absolutely have the life you want, even in this economy. It's up to you to create your place in the world. And it's totally possible.

6. With that in mind, I'm going to add one more resolution to my list. I've got a couple writer friends who are feeling a bit clueless as to how to make a living, so my last resolution is to do something to help them. Maybe through All Who Wander, maybe through hooking them up with compatible gigs. I don't know yet, but my last resolution is to take what I know and help someone with it.

Here I thought I wouldn't have any profound resolutions.

Two Years Worth of Goals, Largely Accomplished

I started this blog two years ago. Two years! And hot damn, right not it seems like my life is finally where I want it to be. I'm planning my budget wedding for this coming June, I've started a wedding podcast, I've learned SEO, I'm supporting myself solely by being a freelance writer working from home, and last night I got the news that I was accepted for my dream job: managing editor of a major travel website, owned by the amazing woman whose tour took me to India - two years ago. How's that for a twist of fate?

So many goals reached in just two years. And I still need to lose 10 pounds. Oh well. ;)

On my Little Sister's Graduation from Middle School

My oldest little sister graduates Middle School today, entering the hallowed halls of high school in just a few weeks. Although we are very different people, I created a list of things I wish I had known going in. Hopefully these words of wisdom will help her out.

For her parents' sake, I did not include "My only regret from high school is not leaving it faster." Although that is precisely what I'll tell my own kids someday, along with a few disparaging remarks on honors programs, AP programs, and extra-curricular terrorism. Here's what I did say:

Dear Tori,

Congratulations on making it through Middle School! Believe it or not, but you’ve just graduated from some of the toughest years life can throw at you. High School is better. Here are a few things I wish someone had told me when I entered high school. It’s kind of a cheat-sheet to get you through the next four years.

• 1.     Now is the perfect time to change your name. Sick of “Tori”? Introduce yourself as Victoria on day one, and that’s your name for the next four years.
• 2.    This is your first lesson in high school math: your gpa drops dramatically if you miss assignments, or hand them in late, so it’s better to hand in anything on time.
• 3.    If you get along with everyone and the teachers and administrators like you, you can get away with a helluva lot more.
• 4.    Be kind to everyone. High school is a nicer place than middle school, but there are still kids who have a rough time. Make their lives a little easier through being kind and helpful. In the end, this is what makes you popular.
• 5.    Don’t believe anything you read in teen magazines about boys and how to attract them, or how to tell if they like you. It’s all lies. Few boys are interested in dating girls in high school – they just aren’t there yet. The ones who are dating every girl in school are skanks. Also, Juniors and Seniors who date freshmen are skanks, even if they are hot.
• 6.    Don’t drive yourself crazy with extra-curricular activities. Take time to do things that are just for you. Explore and pursue your own interests that may or may not have anything to do with school, and develop your talents no matter whether they’ll look good on college applications. This is the stuff that makes you an interesting person.
• 7.    If you have a dream, pursue it with all the energy and passion you have. People will tell you that what you want to do is hard, or impossible, or any number of other reasons to discourage you. The secret is: everything is hard. Nothing is easy. But doing what you love is worth it.

Also, if you choose to wear a thong, don’t let it show above your jeans. I still remember the girl who sat in front of me in English class with the hot pink thong. Don’t be that girl.

Best of luck on this new adventure. You will be brilliant!

Much Love,

Lauren (Who went by “Queen Elizabeth I” in high school – how’s that for a nickname?)

Moving on from Wonderland

"Tut, tut, child! Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it."

-The Duchess, Alice in Wonderland

For the past three months I have been down the rabbit hole in a place filled with real characters. And while sipping tea with the Queen and Cheshire Cat, while trying not to lose my head, I wrote a few goals down for when I found my way home. Here they are:

Professional Goals:

1. Raise rates to the level of a mature writer. I'm no longer a beginner, and it's time I got fair wages.

2. Ask the Oasis Camel Dairy if they need a writer for any of their PR material. I love camels and they're not that far away! 

3. Find a print publication for the best article I have ever written. It's done, I need to find it a good home.

4. Enroll in the multimedia reporting class that I put off for rabbit hole-spelunking. 

5. Find another writing gig - I have my hopes up for a wedding website and an interview is in the works!

Personal Goals:

1. Spend a day walking around Fullerton, and shop at Roadkill - this amazing vintage clothing store - when I've lost another 8 pounds.

2. Sunbathe as much as possible. Vitamin D is the new 'It' cure for everything.

3. Exercise every day. I'm loading my iPod with NPR stories now.

4. Get down to my goal weight, only another 10 pounds! Must achieve by friend's wedding.

5. Start cooking for my dear boyfriend again. I haven't cooked in weeks and lived off of cold pizza for the last five days. I don't know what my poor boyfriend has been doing for food.

More later - looks like I'm heading back to Wonderland, and it's quite different from how it was last time!

Two days in to the Year of the Rabbit

I'm home coughing, writing a 1500 word travel article, and half-watching Say Yes to the Dress on TLC. And may I just say to all future brides out there, please, Please, don't start screaming like you just won Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes when the ceremony ends. Additionally, don't enter your reception as if you are the star quarterback running out onto the field through the air-puffed tunnel on game day. Both behaviors are unseemly and they piss. me. off.

I'm easily pissed off this week. I've been working 10 hour days on my "part-time" job with event planning, weathering storms, putting out metaphorical fires, and getting drenched and burned alternately. But, I don't want to talk about that. I'm just trying to keep the strain from making me ill-tempered because my dear boyfriend has been kindly putting up with a mad-woman. We've already done that, I don't want to do that to him or myself again. Even though this is different - my boss is a lovely person whom I admire, respect, and look forward to interacting with. I know - lucky, right? Doing a cool job under a boss who is really nice. If that were the whole story I'd be ... well, I wouldn't be coughing my head off trying to finish up a 1500 word article at 11pm at night on a Friday.

But I don't want to talk about that. I'm cranky, and I'd be whining if I hadn't lost my voice on Wednesday so I'm making up for it virtually. Unfortunately, this past week appears to be par for the course for the Year of the crummy grass-eating Rabbit. It doesn't look good for me people. The Chinese have it in for me this year. And you know how I believe in this stuff.

"This is a Metal year, and that's your most favorable element. So even though this year is less than 50 percent favorable overall for you, you still end up with half of it going your way. And there's more. Yours is not the first sign for nothing. You're probably quicker, shrewder and more charming than the Rabbit. Remember the story about the wolf in goat's clothing? Well if you dress up in Rabbit's clothing, you can increase your chance of success. When someone rubs you the wrong way, put on your sweetest bunny smile, bite your tongue and enjoy the taste of blood as you fight the urge to give that idiot a tongue lashing. Avoid confrontation, but do pick your spots. There will be plenty of opportunities. Bunny style may not appeal to you, but if it gets you what you want, and it will, why not do a makeover? Next year you can revert to your old self as you soar with the Dragon.

Rat Rating

46% (6 favorable and 6 unfavorable months)

Rat Career

If working with people is a big part of your job, you might find it difficult to make a lot of progress this year. The Rabbit could bring out the worst in you, as it encourages yielding to emotions. You, on the other hand, probably do best when you use logic. This is a time for diplomacy, for presenting a soft face to the people you work with. The more Rabbit-like you can make yourself, the better will be your chances of success. It's not the best time for a career move. If that's what you've been thinking about, you might want to wait until next year, which should be a very favorable time for you. For now, stay the course. Don't make waves. And just be a good member of the team."

Laugh at me if you must, but I've already seen some of those predictions start to unfold. I've been doing more than my fair share of Rabbit-reactions this week, which is not good. See, I've figured myself out, and I know that I am literally Nice To A Fault. I don't stand up for myself, my first reaction to receiving anger or rebuke is stunned and confused apology. I am horribly polite, and like some particularly loyal animal breeds, I'll work until my heart quits to please. I'm trying to work on this. To my credit, I have sent some very direct - though polite - emails this week. The level of illness and exhaustion I had to reach in order to summon the bravery to send those emails is embarrassing, but still, it's progress.

So while the Chinese are telling this Rat to be a sweet bunny, I think it's part of my personal growth this year to learn how to stick up for myself professionally (my boyfriend will tell you that I stick up for myself with nooo problem at home). With that in mind, I am thankful that I'll at least have 6 "good" months, because that's more than I'd hope for with a tough personal mission like this. 

Now, back to writing about "Me Time" in tropical paradises...